Monday, July 28, 2014

Encouragement to my Newly Naturals



Many times when you recently cut your hair off, you don't feel very confident wearing it out because it is new to you (if you are not accustomed to wearing your hair very short) and you don't know how other people will react to it! I encourage you to face your fears! This is the only way that you are going to feel more comfortable with your new cut!
Do it in spite of your fears! Put down that wig that you wear planning to wear and walk out with confidence, with your head up!
Even if you don't feel confident do "as if" you were. Practice being confident. Practice confident body language. The more you confront that fear the less it will have a grip on you! Face the negative comments (They will become less powerful overtime) Face the positive feedback, for those of you who have a hard time accepting compliments! Confidence is not only about the way that you act, it is also about the way that you think! You NEED to know why you big chopped, you need to be convinced and be SURE that you made the right choice in order to exude that confidence! You need to choose to be confident! It is a choice.
It is not easy but If Confidence is really what you want! This is the price that you have to pay! It will definitely be worth it!
One thing that really helped me, was to prepare myself for the positive and negative comments. I would stand in front of my bathroom mirror and speak to myself! Give the reasons why i went natural over and over. Thought about how i can respond to negative comments ( Nobody likes to get catch off guard and not know what to say)!
Newly Naturals stand up for your choice! You chose to cut your hair for a reason and you need to know why! Because people will ask you that!
Assume what you did and don't make people feel like you are in doubt because a lot will take advantage of you uncertainty and lack of confidence to make you feel bad about your decisions!
Whatever your hair texture may be ROCK IT and LEARN how to style it, LEARN to ACCEPT it! (it can be a process)
Positive affirmations for you:
" This is the hair that God has given me and i will rock it with confidence because this is exactly what God wanted me to have, he formed me with love in my mother's womb, and this is exactly how he wanted me to look"
" Everyday i am more and more confident about my hair!"
" I am committed to finding hairstyles that i love for my natural hair"

Not Enjoying your natural hair?


As i was watching a video on Youtube today ,I noticed that many women just seemed so obsessed with length and that this might actually be why they are unable to enjoy their Natural hair!
I can remember the very first time that i went natural hair and I can recall the day that I big chopped! I was happy at first but then I started feeling so impatient! I wanted my hair to grow! I then realized that hair took much longer to grow than I  expected! I was very frustrated because all i wanted was length! I was constantly doing length checks and kept watching them on Youtube! In order to compare my hair's length to other naturals who big chopped around the same time as me ( Just to see if my hair was growing at the right pace lol)! I was obsessed with length retention and freaked out when I saw some breakage!
The reason why i was doing all of this was because i was obsessed with proving to other people that our hair can grow!
Listen! If you want to Enjoy your NATURAL HAIR! Put down the measuring tape, stop constantly checking your length! Stop being so hard on yourself! Leave your hair be! Instead of focusing on length focus on making your hair look good and be healthier! Have fun with your hair! Focus on today! Sometimes we get so caught up in what our future is going to be like that we forget to live for  "today"!
After being so obsessed with hair length, not having enough confidence either! I ended up giving up on my natural hair after 2 and a half years of struggle and ended going back to relaxers (when what i really wanted was to cut my hair but I was so attached to the length). From the minute I relaxed my hair I knew that I was going to go back natural but I didn't know when! Going back natural was so hard after that! Because I was still attached to the length, attached to proving to others that our hair can grow! So Ii remained relaxed for a year and I missed my natural hair! I struggled during that whole year "trying to transition" and every time I wanted to just cut my hair off there was always a hair dresser or someone to tell me not to cut it ! That I should just leave it grow longer before cutting it!
One day I was just sick of taking everyone's advice! I couldn't transition because that's not what i wanted but yet forced it because i wanted to have length and wanted to prove that our hair could grow long and let me just say that the people around me just seemed to be so obsessed with length! I got sick of it and cut it all off! And this third big chop was the most freeing experience, because I noticed how much more confident I was!
lol NOBODY could have told me that i wasn't cute! Because I was convinced that I was!
If you want to enjoy your natural hair! Stop being so obsessed about retaining every inch you grow, taking perfect care of your hair, rocking the perfect styles, stop wanting to prove to others that your hair CAN grow, Stop constantly counting the amounts of month that you were natural! Just stop it and be free! Live and Enjoy your Beautiful hair! These are habits that can ruin your experience!
I made a vow to myself and it was to just leave my hair be! I will enjoy it and I won't tell people whether I am going to cut it or not (cause people always ask so what are you going to do with your hair now?)! if I want to cut it I will and if I don't I won't... I am no longer attached to length! I thought about all the cancer patients and I was inspired by them! You don't need to have long hair to be beautiful! Just find a style that you enjoy! Do what You feel like doing! 
These are just my thoughts and what I beliefs about enjoying Natural hair! What do you think ?